I just about drowned myself.

Yeah.
Well it looks like I drank too much again. And made all the required phone calls again. Because there's so much I need to say, and a little alcohol goes quite a long way. And maybe if I drink enough, I can get the guts to say enough, and get the mood to cry enough, and be ok to get by on just enough. Because day by day I get less and less and I'm fine with that, because everyone's caught on to everything you do. And a few of us have seen how you're so great at returning favours. And I love how you watched me less than half as much as I carried you last time. And I'm realizing that it was you all along. And always has been. And always will be until I get it all out. Because I'm not the person I used to be. And not someone you can be proud of anymore. Because I'm the person you grew apart from. And I'm that person I used to hate. But at least I'm trying to figure it out. And at least I'm trying to get this right. Because you're as bad as everyone you judge (but so am I). And you're no better than everything you hate (but so am I). So if this is it, and it is on my part, you probably expect a call again in a week or so. But (ideally) I'm not going to try any harder than you anymore. And you've given me no reason to think this means anything to you anymore (anything more than a fantastic way to pass the time at least). And you've said everything's fine, and we all suck it up and act like it is, but we've all been acting for way too long now. Because he heard what she said about that one guy we used to know and she's mad because he stopped calling since he starting hanging out with so and so but so and so is starting to talk to such and such and it's all so petty and (even if you dont know the song) this isn't high school but it's just as bad if not worse because look at how old we all are. And look how immature we've all stayed. And I'm no better than the girls that post those bulletins. And you're no better than the kids who take those pictures. (And I've become as bad as the people that do those drugs) And all of us are as guilty as the people we critize (and those kids who will do anything for a bit of attention, right?) because you're reading this and I'm the one who posted it and say what you will but this is what it's come down to when your (my) best friends are strangers and (I'm/you're) best friends with any given stranger.

You said not to give up on you. For how long? I know I couldn't expect half of that from you.