-------And this post isn't finished yet, but I do want to get it posted before I get it finished just so I can get my thoughts out to people because for whatever reason, a lot of people in this generation feel a huge need to get their feelings out to everyone; including people they don't know.
-------I realized kind of recently that I have a lot of pretty bad traits, but that isn't the point of this post. The point of this post is one in specific, my fear of losing the people closest to me which isn't anything extremely unique, but something huge for me.
-------People seem to have this tendancy of being really random and sporatic with their thoughts, and call me old fashioned, but I think it's usually best to start with the beginning.
-------In 6th grade my mom moved to Las Vegas with her boyfriend on my birthday. I spent all day at home crying, seriously all day, and that was kind of the last time I really really cried and let myself cry. A year and a half later, middle of 7th grade just to be clear, she moved back and she's now pregnant and I was so upset. Who does this guy think he is that he can not only take my mom away, but sleep with her and get her pregnant? No way!
-------Nothing really significant for a few years so fast forward to the summer after high school. This was a pretty big summer, obviously, and it was a definite awkward "where do we go from here" kind of feeling for me, but for others too probably.
-------One of my best friends was kind of hanging out with a new group and I felt kind of left out so I was a huge jackass and did a lot of really immature things such as writing angsty teenage poems about her, calling her names, and just being what people might call a brat.
-------The next summer another friend of mine was kind of doing the same thing, but not intentionally. She had to move up north for school, but she also had a guy friend out of state that I wasn't really a huge fan of, so when she went to see him I did the whole immature thing again including the angsty poems and name calling. Aside from that, I did everything in my mind to make her seem like the worst friend ever, even though I couldn't be farther from the truth.
I had more to get out with this post and there are definite specifics, so there are obviously more thoughts in my head about this subject, or else I wouldn't be writing about it, but I think I'll just leave it be in my notebook.
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2 comments:
-I love you.
-You are an incredible person (amazing is used too much lol)
-I will see you on the 26th for sure, I miss you.
Aw, Chris Metz, I do love you, just so you know. And even though we were both brats I do appreciate that summer for I feel it made us stronger as friends. I can't wait for the rest of this thought.
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