Plan B

I don't want to sound like I'm mad at what I feel is the usual routine but I am a little bitter about it. I've almost always felt like the "Plan B" for people; not everyone, and not anyone in specific but just here and there I feel like I'm mostly the, "ok, well so and so is busy so I'll call Chris." Which isn't ok but if that's the only way I'll get to see my friends then so be it. A phone call tonight was a very "Plan B" moment for me. I'm not sure if that's how it was intended but it felt like that to me. Person A called Person B, person B didn't answer their phone so Person A called me and quickly said, "hold on for a minute", or something along those lines and then put me on hold and called Person B. Again, I'm not mad at anyone but I really do feel like the Plan B sometimes...more often than not. Tonight Gina and I had a great talk again. She's too much badass.
This part below was originally from a private post.
The subject has nothing to do with the poem below. The plan b subject is because Steven called me earlier tonight because him and Julio didn't know what to do when they were hanging out so they called me. Wouldn't it be really cool if people called people because they wanted to hang out with someone and not just because they don't know what else to do? The poem is about, Krisy obviously. I think this will be the first of a few blogs to keep private just as a journal. It seems easier to sit and type then it does to write. I'm definitely ready to move somewhere A.S.A.P. I just don't really feel like I "click" with anyone here anymore. Krisy is back up in Flagstaff now and outside of work the people I see on the most consistent basis are Gina and Julio and occasionally Steven. Maybe once school gets going everything will smooth out. I really do hope Krisy and I can be great friends again. Times are most of the time rediculiously amazing and she is by far one of the most amazing people ever but it's felt sorta weird lately, probably nothing. I guess things aren't bad between us, but when you're used to laugh a minute stomach killing nights anything less than that can seem sorta scary. Gina is prettytoo cool too. I really wish her and I talked more and spending time with her AND Julio is a total laugh a minute. I'm sure I look like a total gloom with them but it really is fun. It's always funny to look back at how you become friends with people and how unlikely your best friends seem. There is no way when I met Krisy back in 8th grade I saw us being such amazing friends. Same for Katie and I. Her and I started talking via good old AOL Instant Messenger and over the course of a few weeks or months, whatever it was, we clicked and she's been an amazing friend for me ever since then. Sure we've had our whatever-you-wanna-call-thems but who doesn't? Julio has totally surprised me too. At first in high school him and I didn't really like each other ... at all but one day via good old AIM again we started talking and somehow during the last half of senior year we became really good friends and even more so last summer. Steven, Erika, and Chris are three people I really wish I got to spend time with just because of how absolutely cool they can be, and how rare it is for us to really talk anymore, ya know? Some people might seem questionable now but at one point things were great, ya know?Someday. And once again were separated by time and spaceWe'll go back to our old routinesAnd oh how we'll miss each other by the months endIt's always so much easier to say hi when its been so long The things left unsaid come flying out with such ease when you're so far goneAnd I hate to say it so I never willBut we both missed our one last chanceWe drove and droveWe passed the point of no return and never said a word And once again were separated by space and timeAnd I'm forever choked by things left unsaidYou're so far gone but so am I and I already lost everything I was and had to hold on toI already lost the one person who really mattered anymore.August 26, 2006 3:41 pm 16th street and bethany starbucks.