So the Ohio trip has come and gone and there's a ton to write about of course

-------So Ohio trip has come and gone and there's a ton to write about of course, but what's been on my mind the most is the interaction between my dad and I. My dad and I don't have a bad relationship by any means, neither of us have really done anything to wrong the other, but it isn't hardly a father/son relationship in my eyes. We talk for a few minutes every few weeks, and I make my way out there every few years for a little less than a week; but that's about it.
During the course of the trip it was pretty clear to me that both of us were trying to make conversation, but that was the problem; we were making conversation which might sound like me just being dramatic or something, but there's definitely a difference between talking and making conversation. Regardless of what was going on, conversation died quickly.
-------I guess that's enough background to have the rest of this make sense.
-------My dad's house was the last stop for us before we headed back to Phoenix, and he had to go to work before we left the house, so we said bye to Katie, Rex, and Tracy, his wife, and then stopped by his work to say bye and it was typical, brief small talk, got directions to Best Buy, and then took a few pictures outside, a little more small talk, and then left and that was such a rough drive. I felt the tears coming up right away which is a big deal because like I've kind of mentioned a few times, tears don't come easy for me, and when they do I usually hold them back. And of course this time was no exception. I wanted to cry so bad, and the tears were falling, but I couldn't let myself cry.
-------There's not much I want more right now than I have a real relationship with my dad. Like I said again, niether of us have wronged the other in any way, and there's no one to blame, just a lot of space and distance.
I'm not really jealous of people who have great relationships with their fathers; but it definitely makes me wish I had one. I'd love to be able to say my dad is my best friend and everything that goes with that.
-------A little side note, I was asked if seeing my dad interact with Rex and Katie, my little brother and little sister out there, got to me and I hadn't really thought about it, but it did. A lot. I've never EVER had that father/son interaction and I don't mean to say I'm someone full of problems and all of that, but everyone most definitely has their quirks, myself included, and I think that's a HUGE part of it. And I'm not the only one who has a situation like this, but of course it's been on my mind a lot and will be for a while.

I'm sure I rambled and wandered through all of the above, so if you want to just get the summary, here you go. The lack of a relationship that my dad and I have absolutely kills me, and really really go to me when we left his office to head home on Thursday. There's no one to blame for it, just a lot of space across country and the distance that comes with that.