Try looking closer to home.

Looking back, nothing is ever really as bad or serious as it seemed at the time. This isn't me being really vague about something more specific, but just a general statement that just popped in to my head that could apply to a few things.
There are a few things that kind of have me worried I guess you could say, mainly one thing, and I'm pretty sure it will blow over like it always does, but then it will eventually happen again. Sure, it's always easier to just let things blow over, nothing is fixed then. This happened once before, and probably will again. This is me being really vague about something more specific, but I'll leave it at that.

I'm probably going to come across as arrogant

But that really really isn't my intention. Nor do I want to come across as judgemental but there are a few things that I've realized the past few weeks. I don't need nice restaurants, over priced alcoholic beverages, or artsy fartsy coffee shops to be happy. And sure, it's fun to get a little obnoxious after drinking too much even though I get super sick and always tell myself I'll drink again. But if I was happy before all of these things, I don't see the point in spending money on these things. Sure, it's nice to go somewhere nice with friends for dinner or for drinks and go have over priced coffee somewhere, but I don't NEED these things to be happy. And instead of getting together with everyone and drinking a little and having fun, just cut the booze and hang out in the backyard, or poolside somewhere and have fun.
This post isn't my most organized or well-thought post, but I realized this a few nights ago, and then again tonight.
And I have no problem going out for drinks, or getting coffee or having a little party here and there, but I really really don't want those things to be a huge part of me.

I'm going to be kind of specific for a second. Last Friday evening a few of us met up at a restaurant called Fez and I had a super good time, and enjoyed the brownie and Martini and company, but I was looking around at some of the other people at the restaurant and at that moment got scared to get old. Not just that, but I don't see myself like the people who were there, not that they're bad people by any means, it's just that I don't identify with the people who were there.
Monday evening was also dinner at Delux and I had a BLAST! And my hamburger was BOMB, and my Martini was super duper good. But it's so over-priced, and SO completely un-necessary. Sure, if it's fun then it's money well-spent, but I can have as much fun for a lot less money; if not more fun.
And I partied harder than I'm too proud of during the past few months. And I had a really good time despite getting really sick afterwards but I just don't need alcohol to be goofy and fun; especially not that much alcohol, that's so ridiculous.

And I know I have friends who really enjoy things and places like this and that's SUPER cool for them. I'm happy they're happy with things like this, but I've always been someone who would much rather go somewhere for ice cream and milkshakes and cheeseburgers, or hanging out at someones house just hanging out. I'm SO happy just hanging out and enjoying the company.
Maybe I'm a little stuck in the past and scared of getting old and doing "grown-up" things.

Again, I don't mean to come across as judgemental or arrogant.

This post ended up kind of pointless. A lot of aimless typing.

-------And this post isn't finished yet, but I do want to get it posted before I get it finished just so I can get my thoughts out to people because for whatever reason, a lot of people in this generation feel a huge need to get their feelings out to everyone; including people they don't know.
-------I realized kind of recently that I have a lot of pretty bad traits, but that isn't the point of this post. The point of this post is one in specific, my fear of losing the people closest to me which isn't anything extremely unique, but something huge for me.
-------People seem to have this tendancy of being really random and sporatic with their thoughts, and call me old fashioned, but I think it's usually best to start with the beginning.
-------In 6th grade my mom moved to Las Vegas with her boyfriend on my birthday. I spent all day at home crying, seriously all day, and that was kind of the last time I really really cried and let myself cry. A year and a half later, middle of 7th grade just to be clear, she moved back and she's now pregnant and I was so upset. Who does this guy think he is that he can not only take my mom away, but sleep with her and get her pregnant? No way!
-------Nothing really significant for a few years so fast forward to the summer after high school. This was a pretty big summer, obviously, and it was a definite awkward "where do we go from here" kind of feeling for me, but for others too probably.
-------One of my best friends was kind of hanging out with a new group and I felt kind of left out so I was a huge jackass and did a lot of really immature things such as writing angsty teenage poems about her, calling her names, and just being what people might call a brat.
-------The next summer another friend of mine was kind of doing the same thing, but not intentionally. She had to move up north for school, but she also had a guy friend out of state that I wasn't really a huge fan of, so when she went to see him I did the whole immature thing again including the angsty poems and name calling. Aside from that, I did everything in my mind to make her seem like the worst friend ever, even though I couldn't be farther from the truth.

I had more to get out with this post and there are definite specifics, so there are obviously more thoughts in my head about this subject, or else I wouldn't be writing about it, but I think I'll just leave it be in my notebook.

The Fall of Troy has emo lyrics? No way?

Yeah way for sure.
(I could be the) "picture perfect portrait of a boyfriend, best friend, oh, that's right."
Ouch.

A pet peeve of mine

For WHATEVER reason, un-returned phone calls always have, and still are, one of my biggest pet peeves. They're no big deal, and there's nothing super significant about it, but they get to me so bad for some reason.
That's it.
Nothing more, nothing less.

And this doesn't have anything to do with anything, just sharing an observation.

I had this gut instinct on Monday ...

"This is going to be a fast week, and probably an equally OK week.
Summer is definitely on it's way. And it's more than just summer break, I freaking love summer season.
I hope you have a really good day."

So far my observation/ gut instinct from Monday has been pretty dead on.

(Monday)Yesterday was a really nice AND productive day, a really reassuring afternoon, and even though plans fell through Monday evening; it was super nice out and I made sure I enjoyed it. Krisy and I went to the hospital to go see Alex and he's doing a lot better it sounds like, then we had lunch and Krisy finally had Chipotle's.
(Tuesday)Today was even better.
Weather was super nice out yesterday, but like, 100 times better tonight. HOLY CRAP! Like, it put me in such a great mood, and I already was in a great mood.
Whenever I take the I-17 South now I always pay attnetion to the smell around Jefferson or so, because there's the bread factory there and it always smells so good. And sure enough, tonight they were baking bread, and that with the smell of rain made the night so comfrotable. Went to the bank, sold an old textbook, went to the library, met up with Julio and Tanisha at AJ's, went to Zia with Jared, Johnny, and Melody to get that new Fall of Troy CD.

I'm sure this post reeks of corny, and probably sounds sarcastic or fake, but I seriously have had the awesomest past few days. And I hope it's been as good for you, and still hope you have a really good day.

And another, whatever, random bit of comfort. There's something about the smell of wet dirt that makes this time of the year so comfortable for me.